ASC Strikers u11s vs West Hove Dynamos: Sunday 14th October 2012

We are the West Hove Dynamos
Only come alive when the old moon shows
We are the West Hove
We are the West Hove
West Hove Dynamos!

One for the teenagers there - a song popular Showaddywaddy wannabes , Matchbox almost sung in 1980 but one I sing every time we play them. West Hove Dynamos that is; not Matchbox.

Today's team were all smiles again as they faced a side that was rumoured to have a 'big lad' up front. They'd beaten Forest Youth last week so we knew it wasn't going to be an easy ride. We were all chuffed to see Ryan back in the team after his pencil related dramas; above all, it was nice to have Scott back running the line! Oh - and no Rhys today as he was off having his head polished and nickel coated.

A gloriously sunny day and from the kick off ASC were having the better of the exchanges; Caldé, Fin and Reg were looking particularly sharp. Owen won the first corner of the game which was cleared by WHD. They were soon to settle in though and it wasn't long before their threat became apparent. A well worked move out on the right and a zipping drive across the goal left a few of us taking a collective sharp intake of breath.

They did indeed have a 'big lad' but it certainly wasn't all about one player today. WHD looked a very good side with a combination of deft touches and power. For some of us [me] it's quite difficult not to react every time one of our players are beaten off the ball through sheer muscle, but it's just a part of our boys growing up I suppose. And don't policemen look young these days?

Henry was looking good in the middle and swung a beautifully weighted pass out to Owen on the wing. Fin, always in the thick of things tried a speculative shot from distance and ten minutes in it had become a cagey affair with little goalmouth action. That's a euphemism for 'boring' I'm told [I couldn't possibly comment].

Matt was having a good game in defence and has obviously been watching the Spanish masters, intelligently passing his way out of defence rather than resorting to heeding that age-old British war cry from the touchline 'GET RID OF IT!'. ASC were now having to soak up a lot of pressure from a fast and skilful WHD side. Still the boys made the best of their chances with Josh nippy through the midfield and clearly causing problems. At times the boys seemed to be bunching around the ball so there weren't many yellow shirts in space when the ball broke free.

Max was once again cool at the back; never afraid to take on an approaching attacker, his close control and vision out of defence were easing the worried brows of the parents. WHD's No.4 certainly is a big chap but he had a good touch and a monster of a right foot. The first time he was able to release it  - six yards from the halfway line no less - Joe pulled off the first of a number of classy saves. Fin was getting the measure of the strong WHD tacklers and gave as good as he got, but our opponents were growing stronger as the half went on. The cross bar was our saviour after a looping cross/shot from the by-line and the WHD defenders were able to ally pace with strength in keeping our forward threat at bay.

As the half time whistle blew we were wondering where Lance Armstrong was with his special thermos.

Half time: ASC 0 WHD 0

Owen, Henry and Max made way for Fraser, Cameron and Sunny. Josh was clearly ready for action with a screaming run down the left; unfortunately, his ball into the box fell only to the feet of a boy in blue. Down the other end Joe was the saviour again with solid blocking from the WHD attack. It was getting stressful on the line as the ASC parents and relatives called out for a free kick when Caldé was hustled off the ball; no Louis Suarez that boy - his attempts to stay on his feet just too much. Henry joined in soon after with a crunching tackle which, had it been against us, we would probably have been shouting about. Fair play to the ref - he was having a good game and let things flow.

The WHD pressure was really beginning to tell and Joe was called on to keep things even once again. Josh was also realising that he needed to be strong in the tackle and was the catalyst for a brief revival in ASC midfield fortunes.

Our main threat was a break from midfield with Fin causing problems for the solid WHD defence. It was going to take something special to break them down. Owen replaced Reggie and the dynamics changed somewhat. Matt battled well out on the right and for the first time the WHD defence were left standing as he zipped a corker in towards Owen who was unlucky not to make a connection.

Back came WHD in the 42nd minute forcing a freekick wide out on the left. It was with a sense of inevitability that this time the No.4's ball found the back of the net. Sweetly struck and virtually impossible to save. ASC 0 WHD 1

A few bottom lips stuck out on the sidelines in the ASC parental ranks as WHD had achieved that essential trick of silencing the home crowd. Pressure continued and Joe was brave at the feet of an oncoming attacker. Into the 47th minute and for the first time in the game WHD lost concentration leaving Owen to exploit a gap through defence for Fin to break through. Just as it seemed he'd had one too many touches and was going to get destroyed in a WHD pincer-movement, he tapped the ball just under the keeper. Time stood still as it rolled gently over the line. Great goal. ASC 1 WHD 1

That horrible old cliché of being a bad time to score [see previous blog] came true; unable to clear their lines, the ball dropped to that No.4 again on the edge of the box. With all the time in the world he placed his shot up where the spiders live*. ASC 1 WHD 2

Two minutes later and it was all over as fast WHD movement down the right saw a ball fly across the six yard box and on to the waiting foot of the WHD attacker. ASC 1 WHD 3

ASC continued to make forays into the WHD area; Fraser and Fin had a couple of shouts for penalties waved away but the referee had made the right decision on both occasions. Joe was forced into another near post save and played a big part in keeping the score respectable. Today was just one of those days where the boys came up against a well organised side with one or two game-changers in the team. A classic case of the best side won.

The biggest plus was the return of Ryan with a MotM performance; battling and calm in equal measure. Perhaps the unexpected injection of graphite has turned him into some sort of super-hero? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? NO - it's PENCIL BOY!

Final Score: ASC Strikers u11s 1 West Hove Dynamos u11s 3



* copyright Mr M. Langley 2011

Hove Park Colts u11s vs ASC Strikers u11s: Sunday 30th September 2012

Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness

Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun

Conspiring with him how to load and bless

With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eaves run

Thus spake John Keats in 1819 in his little ditty, 'To Autumn'. And as the nights draw in [only three weeks till the clocks go back], the boys gathered for another match-up on a dreary morn against a HPC team that's battled well against us in recent times.

I think they're laughing at the word 'bosom' in the opening paragraph

The home team started strongly, passing it around well and making the most of the space available to them. Rhys was called into early action clearing a corner with that head of his and being solid in the tackle. This was big pressure to be soaking up though and HPC headed just wide - they were out like a train for the first four minutes. 

Excited by their pressure, their defenders pushed up slightly further than they ought to have done; a break from midfield and Owen was able to battle through for a goal against the run of play. A solidly struck ball into the bottom left hand corner and we'd calmed the storm. HPC 0 ASC 1

The times they were a-changin' and it was ASC's turn to put the pressure on. Caldé threaded a precision ball through to Cam - just offside. A high energy game evened out nicely with sweeping exchanges across the park. Reggie's pace was always a problem for the home team and a power run through midfield resulted in one of his trademark scorchers sneaking just wide. Inspired by his team-mate's speed, Cam embarked on a run himself forcing a great one-on-one save from the HPC keeper. He had a chance to repeat himself two minutes later but his shot was gathered nicely once again.

The second of a few controversial offsides came next as Cam broke through - surely it was only a matter of time for him to get on the scoresheet? A change of attack saw HPC break into the ASC box out on the right, resulting in a somewhat panicked tackle and our third conceded penalty in as many games. HPC 1 ASC 1

This elicited a fabulous response from the boys and within two minutes; a shot from Caldé that clattered into the body of the defender fell to Cam and this time there was no flag. HPC 1 ASC 2

Once again, tails up and ASC came a-huntin'. Reg hit a beautifully weighted cross goal shot that clipped the post and fell to the feet of Josh who was very unlucky in knocking it just over. Things were looking good as the half-time whistle blew.

Half time: HPC 1 ASC 2

Sharpy, Fraser and Henry now made an appearance and were able to give our hosts something to think about. HPC resorted to some strong-arm tactics but good refereeing enabled Sharpy to pick out Caldé with a deftly struck free-kick. HPC resumed their early power-play but the ASC defence stayed cool and kept their opponents at bay. Rhys's head should be insured for billions as he cleared his lines again and again.

An X-Ray of Rhys's bonce [probably]

Joe was gathering balls well but a loose one from a HPC corner fell to their attack on the six yard line - that's a lot of net to hit from that close in. HPC 2 ASC 2

It was HPC's turn to be buoyed by their efforts and now the attacks came in waves. The boys in yellow were all at sea, and no mistake. But this is no time for a barrage of maritme metaphors. We were struggling to not only get out of our own half, but even our own area. Owen and Reg eased things with a fine ball from the latter allowing the former to shoot. Once again, the keeper was equal to it. A short while later and Owen was through in the box; a good hard shove got him away from the ball and the whistle blew. Penalty, surely? Nope - the curvature of the Earth made for an optical illusion that made the ref think it was outside the box. To be fair to him, the push was so hard that Owen did end up outside the box - almost in a different postcode in fact. Ross's free-kick was beautifully struck and forced the Keeper into yet another fine save - the HPC sticks-man was having a great game.

Back came HPC with fantastic nippy play in front of the ASC 'D', forcing a free-kick. A well struck shot coupled with a nasty deflection made it impossible to keep out. Blinkin' flip and Crikey Moses. HPC 3 ASC 2

ASC pushed on well from kick-off; a good shout for handball went unheard and it looked odds on for an equaliser as Owen screamed through on goal in the last minute. The linesman adjudged Caldé's through ball had been struck just as Owen creeped in front of the last man. I still need to work out how to describe a low, angry seething sound emanating from the Shoreham half of the field - perhaps this will do:

The ref noticed the upset and blew up with 20 secs left on the clock but it seemed that a way back was going to be difficult. Another frustrating away-day but the boys made a good show of things and strong defending kept things respectable. Sometimes, things just don't go your way but we are certainly due a big win; I can feel it in me water.

Full time: Hove Park Colts 3 ASC Strikers 2

On a more positive note there was no Ryan today after a freak accident at school saw him impale himself on a pencil! He's ok thank goodness and we're hoping for him 2B back in a few weeks.

ASC Strikers u11s vs Pevensey & Westham u11s: 23rd September 2012

Today's Squad Photo. The rain was quite heavy.

Our first home fixture and the heavens well and truly opened. It really is at times like this that we show our true devotion to our offspring, stood as we were in our 'Goretex' therma-dry waterproofs and 'Hunter' wellies while all they could do was moan about how wet it was out on the pitch. I tell you, if I'd heard one more complaint of 'I think I'm going to be sick!' or 'I can't feel my fingers!' I would have screamed. Kids today? Pah!

Once again the parents were able to opine on all things football with some deeply entrenched and knowledgeable observations on the current state of the British game. Among them, one of the ladies bemoaned the intricacies of zonal marking, while another put forward the notion that utilising the Loughborough Intermittent Shuttle Test (LIST) would see a marked improvement in the boys fitness levels, although it did have a drawback in that it involved minimal ball-work. Somebody also said that as the boys moved on to larger pitches, the games would be a lot more low-scoring. The blind fool.

An attempt to write up anything of significance was washed away, literally, as a months worth of rain that had been storing in the skies above emptied itself on to Buck Park and my notebook [that's how meteorology works, isn't it?]. As such, this report will probably be seen through the mists of my imagination. [Who shouted 'no change there!' at the back?]

So - turn off your mind, relax and float down stream . . . .

Could we keep Pevensey at Bay? [arf arf]. This was the question on everybody's lips and within five minutes of the kick-off we had our answer. A very slippery surface with a nasty bobble but officiated by the BEST REFEREE WE'VE EVER HAD at Buck Park saw our visitors up after 5 minutes. Don't worry, it'll be a low scoring game - plenty of time for the equaliser. ASC 0 P&W 1

Owen was getting a bit of grief from the P&W defender who thought he'd turned up for a game of rugby but the BEST REFEREE WE'VE EVER HAD was keen to keep the game flowing - and rightly so we all agreed with broad smiles on our faces.

The pressure stayed on at our end. Rhys was called into action with his head of iron [this weeks metal of choice] and saved a sure-fire goal off the line, but as P&W looked to consolidate, ASC broke away with Josh going just wide. The wet weather made sure of a fast paced game. Caldé was clean through but decided to take half the pitch with him on his shot; the keeper wasn't sure whether to pick up the ball dribbling slowly towards him or avoid the 8" clod of turf screaming at his head. P&W were a very good side, aided and abetted by a man with a foghorn screaming inanities from the touchline. Max was called into action with a couple of great defending tackles but a drop-kick into the wind allowed the boys in two shades 0' blue to stretch their lead with an easy tap-in. ASC 0 P&W 2

It would have been so easy for heads to drop but there's too much skill and pace in the side for that to happen. Bill was strong in the right back position vacated by Matt - out with a hamstring injury, but still willing to stand in the rain and cheer his mates on. Cam and Owen were getting the measure of the P&W defence and it wasn't long before a ball through to Reggie on the left corner of the box saw him shoot with precision across the face of the goal and into the top right hand corner. ASC 1 P&W 2

A minute later, Reg had scored what we thought was the equaliser but the BEST REFEREE WE'VE EVER HAD had to agree with his assistant as he ruled offside. I wasn't looking, have no knowledge or experience in officiating a game of Association Football and was standing in completely the wrong spot. But I know he was wrong. Boosted by the rank unfairness of somebody having a much better view of the defensive line than any of them, the boys pushed on and Reg shot in off the post. Honours even. ASC 2 P&W 2

We were going in having pulled things equal - or so we thought. The boys were having other ideas. Josh, with a great individual run split the defence and slotted his left foot drive past the keeper, right on the stroke of half-time as the BEST REFEREE WE'VE EVER HAD was about to blow.

Half time: ASC Strikers 3 Pevensey & Westham 2

A round of half time subs [Henry for Ryan, Sunny for Bill and Fraser for Cam] mixed things up for ASC, which seemed to confuse the opposition. Within four minutes of the re-start Owen, who'd been a real problem for the P&W back-line executed a chip of Zamora-esque proportions [check out the video below - about 0:14 secs in, but with his right foot]. Curiously, as he was about to strike, the P&W defender appeared ready to make a speech as he raucously cleared his throat. Was he trying to put our nippy winger off? Surely not! ASC  4 P&W 2

Two minutes later and it was a brace from Owen. A simple strike and the boys were cruising. It was going to be an easy victory . . . . . . wasn't it? ASC 5 P&W 2

Quietened for the minutes surrounding the interval, the noise from the touchline picked up again. As boys and parents alike looked across to see what the commotion was about, P&W sneaked in a cheeky goal to keep ASC on their toes. ASC 5 P&W 3

Three minutes later and the BEST REFEREE WE'VE EVER HAD had no choice but to award a penalty [our second in as many games!]. Once again, Joe might as well have taken the time for a quick break - them goals ain't small. ASC 5 P&W 4

Surely the comeback wasn't going to be ruined? ASC kept harrying but there were clearly nerves at play throughout the side. Even those of us who advocate the calm passing style out of defence were inwardly screaming 'GET RID OF IT!' P&W hadn't scored their openers through luck and their effort was rewarded as a combination of wet grass, poor communication and hypothermia [a heady mix] saw the second great comeback of the day. ASC 5 P&W 5

Blimey and blinkin' flip we all muttered to ourselves. Five minutes to go and they've thrown it away. As parents phoned ahead to get relatives to put their son's meals into kitchen bins and to prepare implements for beatings, Owen saved his team-mates' bacon by securing his hat-trick as the P&W defender in his wake coughed and spluttered behind. 'He's trying to put me off!' Owen shouted after his pass into the bottom left corner. I don't think so, mate - I just think you were hearing the signs of a rapidly developing chest infection. ASC 6 P&W 5

The BEST REFEREE WE'VE EVER HAD soon put everybody out of their rain-sodden misery. A hard fought game and the P&W parents were very gracious in defeat. It was a good lesson for the boys in very difficult conditions.

Our first points on the board! You can keep up with our league progress here -

http://full-time.thefa.com/Table.do?divisionseason=279027156&league=1697069 

Full time: ASC Strikers u11s 6 Pevensey & Westham 5

Forest Youth u11s v ASC Strikers u11s: Sunday 16th September 2012

The all new match report for Season 2012/13 coming to you with a snappy new title - ASC Strikers u11s - and I don't need to do two reports anymore!. We welcome some new members to the team as we go into our first competitive fixtures - things are looking good with the addition of Josh, Cameron and Owen [but whatever you do, don't clear your throat as the latter is about to strike for goal!]

On perhaps the most beautiful surface we will see all season and in the most attractive surroundings [not a pylon to be seen] ASC donned their snazzy away kit to face an old foe. Could the boys wipe away the FY Hoodoo? Would they need voodoo to wipe away the hoodoo? 

Maps and compasses were handed out to both teams to navigate the pitch. One of the boys asked if they needed to put their watch forward an hour when making a break upfront and in the first half it seemed our little men needed the security of each other with some Olympian bunching around the ball. After repeated shouts of 'SPREAD OUT!' from Matt, it was ASC who made the first foray goal-ward. Owen showed signs of things to come with a scorching shot and linked up well with Caldé to force the FY keeper into a desperate near post save. Very promising.

Of course, this is Forest Youth we're talking about and it wasn't long before they got into their stride down the left. A lovely passage of passing play saw them swing  a ball in from the left and the deftest of dinks left the keeper stranded. FY 1 ASC 0

From then, the first half evened out nicely. Solid defending [pushing] from FY kept them in front and all efforts from Owen, Josh and Reg were foiled. It seemed like a matter of time before ASC were on level terms. Some breathtaking passing between Caldé, Reg and Owen allowed Cam to connect with a sparkling through ball - just over.

FY then countered and somewhat robust ASC defending - couldn't see who by; as I said, it was a big pitch and I'd forgotten my binoculars - led to a penalty against the run of play. The goals in the u11 game are big. Joe, though quite tall, looked very small as the FY forward stepped up. FY2 ASC 0

Half time: Forest Youth 2 ASC Strikers 0

More aware of their surroundings and the dimension of the pitch, ASC came out rejuvenated [that's if 10/11 year olds can be rejuvenated?] after half time and began to turn the screw. This pressure told with a sparkling delivery from Fin, floating the ball over the advancing FY defence for Josh to calmly place over the left shoulder of the keeper. It was worth the 500 mile round trip he made from deepest Bexhill. FY2 ASC 1

This was certain to be ASC's first victory against FY. Their passing from defence into midfield was majestic. Sharpy and Ross refused to give in to the easy option of hoofing it as far forward as they could, only for it to return a few seconds later. Caldé even conjoured a left foot shot and an equaliser seemed on the cards. ASC's very own Keith Moon, Max, was calmness personified as he cleared his lines; there was no driving Rolls Royces into swimming pools from this boy today [although that is actually an urban myth].

However, as time marched on [games are now an hour long], FY continued to stifle their visitors efforts and began to find a way through, keeping ASC camped in their own half. Robust defending from Matt and Sunny kept them out and as always, Rhys and his 'Skull of Titanium' kept high balls at bay. A shot from the 'D' from Reg produced a great save and Owen and Josh continued to link up well, but as the game wore on it was clear that the elusive win was yet to be.

A fine performance in their first competitive game; certainly a shame that we couldn't break through but as we know, FY are a good team and the ASC boys can be proud of their efforts. Surely, good things are on the horizon. I don't know, I reckon we'll win next week's game against Pevensey & Westham. 6-5 I'm thinking? And it'll be flippin' POURING down. Just a hunch.

Full time: Forest Youth u11s 2 ASC Strikers u11s 1

FINAL GAME OF THE SEASON! Sunday 1st April 2012

And I'm not joking!

Yep - it's that time again - the final game before the summer tournaments.

Fret not, however, for we are adjourning to 'The Red Lion' Public House at 1pm for what can only be described as a celebration of this season's achievements for both teams!

A chance to thank Matt for his continuing hard work but mainly to drink beer and eat cheesy-chips. Everyone's a winner!

ASC vs Another Team: Sunday 24th March 2012

The 'A's

Won 4-2

___________________________________________________________________________________

The 'B's

Lost 1-0

___________________________________________________________________________________

Joe

Joined the French Resistance. 70 years too late.

ASC Strikers vs Hangleton Rangers: Sunday 19th March 2012

The 'A's

THE CLICHÉ EDITION

The usual suspects turned out at Fortress Buckingham on a sunny Sunday morn. On paper we had the better team, but as you know, you don’t play football on paper.

A pair of well matched teams at the business end of the season were up for the challenge. The visiting crowd had a lot to say but Ryan was doing his talking on the pitch. A great shot produced a save right out of the top drawer.

Matt was on fire on the wing and Reggie produced the goods with a fine effort. Rhys displayed some training-ground-cheek with a back heel to Ross who was giving 110%.

The game needed a goal and the stadium erupted as Reg showed great calm with a textbook tap-in ASC 1 HR 0

Buoyed by their success, it was handbags in the box as Ross was brought down on the six yard line. The resulting penalty went just wide. He'd have been disappointed with that.

Regan had the bit between his teeth and running like a gazelle saw his left foot strike hit the post. Last time I saw a run like that was many, many years ago:

If the boy had been a Brazilian we'd be raving about it for ages.

Ross was in the wars today but his knock just before half time deserved an Oscar

Half time: ASC 1 Hangleton Rangers 0

It was a game of two halves as ASC had a mix-up in defence; Joe pulling off a great save. Sam's running was a real feature of the early exchanges. That boy's got a great engine. Reg was on hand with another great effort from a free-kick.

Matt and Ross tracked back well knowing this would be a bad time to concede a goal. Reg, Ross & Rhys were making lovely triangles as they sought to stretch their advantage. Sam then upset the applecart with a cross from his right[!] peg which was met with precision by the head of Reggie ASC 2 HR 0

Of course, a two goal lead is often more difficult to defend than a one goal lead but it was a bad time to concede a goal for the visitors who'd made the long trip out West. Matt was called upon to step up to the plate in defence but Reg was a different class with a header that had the keeper well beaten. His hat-trick came soon after with a neat one/two between him and Ross; a giant of a player ASC 3 HR 0

As the clock wound down, the Ref checked his watch knowing there are no easy games at this level. Football was the winner as Reg, asked to comment on his three goals said the main thing was getting the three points. Yeah - right.

Final Score: ASC Strikers 3 Hangleton Rangers 0 [a real six-pointer, that one]

__________________________________________________________

The 'B's

THE HYPERBOLE EDITION

On what was perhaps the finest morning steeped in sunshine that this part of the South Coast had EVER seen, our stalwart young defenders of Adur Sports Council pride took to the lush meadows of a sporting arena that has seen many a battle won, lost or held in honours even. Tears would be shed, hearts broken, friendships forged on this, our day of days!


Hangleton Rangers, fresh from a brief sojourn in the pleasant hamlet of Knoll Rec, were soon to make the game theirs with a display of passing not seen around these parts since the days of Ozymandias and his triumphant journey into the heart of the beast within the bowels of Patcham; just off the A23.


Joe G., the enigmatic provider of wondrous attack play, of a skill forged in the fire-pits of Hades itself, forced his adversary into a save that the Great Yashin could only have dreamed to call his own. Mothers screamed and babies cried to the Gods of All That Is Good and Evil as the young firebrand let loose his blaze of glory.


Sunny, a rock upon which the Church of Phenomenal Defending was built, stood sentinel at the heart of a defence bolstered by the presence of the Ice Man, Sharpy. His inability to crack in the face of all pressure has enabled this team, this group, this collective of players, their skill hewn from the rarest alloy found only in places that no human eye has seen, only in their dreams, has been the reason, the force du nature that has kept this group of footballers in their rightful place on this planet spinning helplessly in a cavernous, infinite universe.


Bill, for yes, it is he, who was then able to rise like a phoenix who has seen the dark ages of man sweep through the ancestry of aeons to meet a ball that had been delivered, sent, crossed rapier-like into the cold, beating heart of the opposition defence; a group of players made great by their own indifference to such fripperies as defeat, loss, heart-breaking loneliness in a world populated by old men in tracksuits living vicariously through the feats of their offspring. This ball, met by the head of the young man of Belgian/Shepherd's Bush descent, fell painfully wide of its target. Sad, defeated, lying to the left of the steel upright which the defending talisman of a goalkeeper now looked to with pride, awe and not a little shame.


Joe W., the flaxen haired son of God like parentage, both riven from the stones of Nebukenezer in the Ancient City of Thebes, then saw a shot that only the deities of millenia could describe in the hallowed writings of Ramses and Ebenezer. It went just wide but families, preparing for a brief repast in the grounds of the Adur District's finest acres of common ground, stood and stared in awe at the trajectory of its wideness.


But lo! Had Sharpy's coolness lulled his opponents into a sense that all was well in their area of the park? With a bellow of 'FOR ENGLAND! FOR ALBION!' he set upon a sprint that the wing-ed Mercury could only behold in awe, in terror, in recognition that his particular place in history had been left broken and bereft; with no chance of a reprieve or a return into the history books under 'Very Fast Runners'. His through ball to Joe G. had the latter, and his parents, and the Manager, and a man asking directions down on the Upper Shoreham Road, thanking him for such delicacy and kindness in a world riven by hate, fear and malice.


It was now Bill's turn to shine once more. Can there be greater pleasure in any man/woman's life than to see the years of hard work, of striving, of perseverance brought into one beautiful moment by a neat little one/two on the edge of the area? Joe G., once again the grateful recipient of this magnanimous gift. The post once again the blocker of dreams; the usurper of fantasia.


Half time: ASC 0 HR 0


Onward, upward, crossways and in descent the warriors made play once more. Les garcons jaunes applied pressure that would move continents, would unsettle the stability of the ocean floor, would bring forth a tsunami of such gargantuan proportions that no man/woman/child/animal/mollusc/invertebrate/arachnid would be able to survive its inexorable journey across the plains of this tiny planet upon which we seek to make our fortune and happiness.


But what have we here? A melée! A zigamorph of thrashing limbs as the orb of faux leather and weave spins helplessly like a sponge tossed on the surf of the aforementioned tidal wave. A tidal wave of hope? Of dreams? Of lost, cold moments in the arms of a long since past love? Ah - love. Would it be such that this love of which I speak could bring us the joy to which we so desperately cling? Could Sharpy bring us that love? HR decide to face him up. To make him become the man that he NEEDS to become. Will he answer their call? Will he say 'NO! YOU. SHALL. NOT. PASS.'?

Yes. Yes, he will.


And Bill returns for one last combination with Max, our flame haired Zeus of the left wing. Girls swoon as he zips left, then right, then left, then right, then right again. Each move brings a shrill cry of ecstasy from the sidelines. And that's just from his father! Bill and Max have been drawn back to help, along with Fraser and Henry who look at each other in implicit realisation of the approaching storm. They know. They. Know.


Our world now stops. Pollen is held suspended in the air. Dogs hold their jaws akimbo as they draw in the last vestiges of oxygen. A ball, hit with such ferocity, with such vigour, with such primeval anger and despair and desperation travels toward Charlie. His face is locked in a gaze of such intense concentration that sleeping children five towns away are woken from their slumbers by the ultrasonic wave of its magnitude. The ball, travelling at speeds hitherto unknown and therefore unrecorded by the tiny machines of human capability is stopped by him in its unerring path toward the net. It falls to the floor.


Would that there were a blue stockinged foot to send it clear, but No. It is the black sock of our venomous foe. The sock of all that is dark. Of all that spells solitude, fear and death that pushes the ball home. For a moment, every street in the South East of England stands still in unseen knowledge of this watershed moment. It is a time for heroes. A time to regroup. To realise that among ALL of our victories, we must, at times, taste defeat. ASC 0 HR 1


Bugger.


Final Score: Adur Sports Council Strikers Under 10s Association Football Club 0 Hangleton Rangers Under 10 Association Football Club 1

Seagulls Blue u10s vs ASC Strikers u10s: 12th March 2012

The 'A's

Joe W [GK], Ross, Ryan, Reg, Caldé, Sam, Matt and Rhys took to what can only be described as a pocket handkerchief of a pitch; it was going to be a real test of their close control skills.

Actual size

Seagulls looked good from the start but it was star striker, Reg who opened the scoring with a tap-in from the edge of his OWN penalty area. I said the pitch was small. SB 0 ASC 1

Sam was soon deservedly on the score sheet as he pounced on one of Reggie's overhead kicks that hit the post. SB 0 ASC 2

Sam, Caldé and Reg linked up beautifully through midfield but the final ball saw them fall victim to the small pitch. The remainder of the first half was evenly-matched. Great defence from Rhys and Matt, with Joe W being called upon to act as an extra outfield player as ASC used up the whole of the available space. 

Half time: Seagulls Blue 0 ASC 2

Matt and Reggie linked up well early doors [what does that actually mean?] and Rhys's rock 'ard nut was called into action in both defence and attack. SB were picking things up though - Joe parried an excellently struck shot but it fell to an SB Poacher who welcomed the tap-in. Renewed hope for our hosts? SB 1 ASC 2

A goalmouth scramble at the other end almost saw the two goal lead re-established but SB soon broke away, forcing another fine save from Joe. He followed this with a beautifully weighted chip to Matt who was on fire down the right wing out of defence [he didn't have that far to run, to be honest - did I mention the pitch was quite small?]. Forcing a throw, Sam found Reg who produced a shot off his left foot of Concorde like proportions SB 1 ASC 3


From here it was all ASC - Ryan hit the side netting, Caldé lobbed just over. The boys were protecting their lead in a calm and intelligent manner. SB's one foray into the box saw Joe punch well clear and as Caldé hit the post with the last kick of the match it was another game well won.


Final Score: Seagulls blue 1 ASC Strikers 3

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The 'B's

Joe W. [GK], Sharpy, Joe G., Sunny, Henry, Bill, Max & Fraser took to the pitch brimming with confidence after a fabulous run of results and that bravado was on show within seconds of the kick-off as Fraser stepped up with a poacher's goal after a Sunny free-kick SB 0 ASC 1

ASC continued turning the screw; Bill even managed to overhead kick the ball on to his own head - a bit like this but without the pain [or embarrassment]:

Max was bossing the midfield again with some great shimmies and he linked well with Henry at the front of the centre pack. If the ball did come ASC's way, Sharpy was there with cool control and deft footwork to put it back up the other end.


The siege continued and in a short salvo of strikes ASC were winning comfortably. First, Joe G. pounced like an unsmiling salmon on a Fraser shot that the SB keeper couldn't hold SB 0 ASC2


Then, Max had a Barnes Wallis moment as his shot bounced across the ground; a series of nasty bobbles although the end result was slightly more benign than this:

SB 0 ASC 3


The final action of the first half saw Henry strike the post and have the ball bounce back to his feet. Second time lucky? You betcha! SB 0 ASC 4


Half time: Seagulls Blue 0 ASC 4


Matt's words to Joe 'Keep a clean sheet and there's a bonus for you' rang clear in the Keeper's ears throughout the second half; a much better display from our hosts. Soaking up the pressure the ASC boys found no way through. Henry was described as a juggernaut by an SB supporter; in a nice way, I'm sure! Even Sharpy saw the chance to break through with a stunning shot that clipped the top of the bar.

ASC were rampant but, as is often the case, the defence fell asleep. A mix up at the back saw Joe slightly out of position. SB must've thought they were being given a consolation strike to make them feel better. He's always looked after the under-dog that boy! SB 1 ASC 4

Joe gets a little help from his friends

Final Score: Seagulls Blue 1 ASC Strikers 4

ASC Strikers u10s vs Hove Rivervale u10s: Sunday 5th March 2012

The 'A's

Charlie [GK], Rhys, Ross, Reggie, Sam, Caldé and Ryan took to the pitch in what can only be described as inclement weather conditions. Joe lay in bed with tonsils the size of raspberries and although I thrashed him, he was having none of it.

It has to be said that HR were on the wrong end of a comprehensive drubbing last time round but they were looking much better today and it took a while for the ASC breakthrough; Caldé tapping in after a mini-onslaught that saw Reg shoot over and Ross take a knock in the box [always painful that] ASC 1 HR 0

It was soon honours even after a great move through midfield from HR and a clinical finish through the driving rain and wind ASC 1 HR 1

An instant return with Wonder Winger, Sam zipping a ball in to Reg who volleyed hard and fast into the top corner ASC 2 HR 1

Ross was in the wars again as he was clattered to the ground. In defence of his team-mate, Reg picked up on a wonderful through ball from Ryan and, afterburners kicking in, left his defenders for dead as he ran through for a two goal cushion at half time ASC 3 HR 1

Half time: ASC 3 HR 1

ASC were perked up by Matt's half time talk [something along the lines of 'score more or I'm quitting'] and although HR showed great improvement they were no match for the triangles being drawn in midfield. Sam was so astounded by the skill on show this happened:

As the ball sank into the mud Caldé was up next with a tap in to make it four and HR's collective head began to fall; not through losing, but the weight of the rain on it  ASC 4 HR 1

As I struggled to write any notes in the deluge, Reg secured his umpteenth hat-trick of the season with another stunning volley ASC 5 HR 1

Final Score: ASC Strikers u10s 5 Hove Rivervale u10s 1

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The 'B's

As things took a turn for the worse weather-wise Charlie [GK], Henry, Sunny, Joe G, Max, Fraser, Sharpy and Bill took to the rapidly developing bog. Still, we need the rain otherwise we're all going to die in a drought of Biblical proportions. Well, that's what The Daily Mail says anyway.

To be honest, it got so wet I couldn't take any notes. I think Max nut-megged somebody, Bill hit the post and then scored near the end, Joe G scored two and Charlie got hypothermia [he's in the picture somewhere - boy, can that kid use a snorkel!]

Final score: ASC Strikers u10s 3 Hove Rivervale 0

Mile Oak Wanderers Blue vs ASC Strikers: Sunday26/02/12

The Ballad of Mile Oak Blue [best read in the style of Johnny Cash]

The 'A's

On a sunny day, on a Sunday morn, two teams they took the field

As the pylons hummed and the wind blew free

The 'Blue' Boys' fate was sealed.

It was Caldé first that hit the net

As he looked to cash-in on his Dad's crazy bet,

'Score THREE today, and a tenner's yours!'

[Foolish words from them Northern jaws]. 0:1

Sam ran the wing like a bird took flight

His speed and skill an awesome sight,

While Ross took a touch and, screamin' out loud

Did a dive to make Tom Daly proud!

Caldé, Ross and Reg conspired

To make the Blues look really tired.

But wave after wave saw little reward

It had been some time since the boys had scored. 

Then our flame-haired forward did a 'chip-cross' thang

On to Reg's right foot - top corner - BANG! 0:2

The Mile Oak boys were looking good in defence

2-0 up but things were getting tense

Til' Ross did a turn that left his marker stranded

His shot hit the net like an eagle had landed! 0:3

Half time: Mile Oak Blue 0 ASC 3

With their tails up the boys ran out

Not knowing we'd be seeing a rout

Matt squeaked a ball though the Blues back two

Sam's deft tap-in was the least he could do. 0:4

It was Ryan's turn, and turn he did

The ball under the keeper slid! 0:5

ASC on fire as they pushed for more

Reg rounded the keeper to increase the score. 0:6

Now from the back there came an attack

As Matt and Ross joined in

The latter's shot didn't hit the spot

But the former's hit the pin! 0:7

Caldé smelt the cash and began to dash

Through the Blues as they stayed brave,

But the Keeper looked like he was already beat

That shot he weren't ever gonna save 0:8

Matt came up from the back, avoiding the flack

From the stalwarts dressed in blue

As he hit number nine, with a cry of 'MINE!'

There weren't NOTHIN' they could do! 0:9

But what about Joe, way back in the goal?

The poor guy left out on his own?

To keep himself sharp, he pulled out his harp

And laid down some blues of his own.

Up the other end, still tryin' to defend

The Blues they kept on tryin',

But Ross chipped to Matt, who spun the ball back

Waitin' there was our boy, Ryan. 0:10 

But it wasn't over, the boys were in clover

They were making their passes stick

And with his rellies watching, Matt weren't botchin'

The chance of his first hat-trick! 0:11

Caldé's return from the subs bench burned

In the memories of those who saw

His Dad's face wince, as he darted and jinked

Through the back to get THAT score! 0:12

It was Reg up now and we all went 'WOW!'

As the ball flew through the air

He'd scored three, but amidst all the glee

It felt a little unfair. 0:13

But to HELL with FAIR

There was time for MORE

And in one last attempt to strike the Blues

Ross stepped in with not one, but TWO! 0:14 & 15

Fifteen goals and four hat-tricks

Mile Oak Blue had been hit for six

But thru' the onslaught, their heads held high

Them Mile Oak boys, they never say die!

Final Score: Mile Oak Wanderers Blue 0 ASC Strikers 15 [crikey!]

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The 'B's 

or

Some more of me poetry

 

Unbeaten in loads, the Bs stepped in

Could they emulate their pals?

Henry and Max laid siege to the goal

The parents watched like owls

For a while it seemed that this Blues team

Would keep their visitors out 

But Joe W. was there, and with a swish of his hair

Gave us something to shout about! 0:1

Sharpy was in with a great through ball

That scythed the opponents' back line

Joe G. slammed home, when left on his own

By gosh, that boy's touch is damn fine! 0:2

We were soon up to three, as Bill started a spree

That saw him shoot just wide

Joe W. appeared, and with a look of some fear

The Blues keeper was back inside . . . his own net. 0:3

Half time: Mile Oak Blue 0 ASC 3

With Sunny in goal and Charlie out front

It was Henry's chance to shine

After shooting just wide, it was no time to hide

As the fourth went over the line! 0:4

Bill came close with a stinging free-kick

But a great save prevented the goal

Fraser and Charlie passed well with Joe W.

And Sharpy played well 'in the hole'

It could've been five, but the ball crossed the line

Before Charlie tapped into the net

So a goal kick it was, but our Keeper 'woz robbed'

Our boys became more of a threat!

Shot after shot as the boys looked to slot

The ball through the tightening gaps

Bill in with his head, Fraser left them for dead

But Joe W.'s strike got the claps! 0:5

A hat-trick for Joe, meant that I had to go

To a cashpoint on the way home.

But these 'B' Boys are great, and play like great mates,

They deserve some cash of their own!

Final Score: Mile Oak Wanderers Blue 0 ASC Strikers 5