Forest Youth 'B's vs ASC Strikers 'B's - Sunday 6th February 2011: IMPORTANT INFORMATION

The 'A's


Arguably the best team in our age group, Forest Youth play a style of football that is fast and flowing and looks to make use of every player on the pitch. It was going to be a real challenge for the boys.


Joe G. [GK], Rhys, Matt W, Callum [henceforth known as 'Caldé'], Nathan, Fin and Max B. lined up with a spring in their step on a frankly cold morning; they're tougher than us, that's for sure.


The Forest Youth Coach, or Mr Shouty as we know him marshalled his team well but Strikers were able to soak up the early attacks and hold their own; the midfield looking particularly strong. Nathan saw the opportunity for a foray down the left wing but was cut out by the strong FY defence. Emboldened, Max B. skimmed a shot just wide. Ryan, one of the ASC Players of the Season nutmegged the FY attacker. 

Some nutmeg

This use of the spice favoured in far eastern cuisine seemed to anger our Horsham hosts and they sprang into a fantastic passage of play, sweeping the ball among each other like a big . . . sweepy thing[?] No matter how we defended, with Matt W looking as resolute as ever and Joe G. showing great footwork to bamboozle the FY attack, it was a lovely tap in after crisp passing that saw our orange & white opponents take a deserved lead FY:1 ASC:0


The boys didn't let their heads drop and Fin came close, forcing the FY keeper into a spectacular save. Max B.'s tackling continued to be of the highest order and Caldé's art of the defence-scything through ball continues apace.


Half time Forest Youth: 1 ASC Strikers: 0


Fin, Caldé and Nathan came out all guns blazing with free-kicks gained and shots spinning across the FY goal in an effort to even things up. Matt W. remained a rock at the back.

A rock

It wasn't long before FY settled back into their stride; their smooth passing game a joy to watch and to learn from. Despite this, Strikers matched their opponents and kept any goalmouth threat to a minimum. Joe G. came into his own with a fine save from a FY free-kick.


The crossbar was the next thing to come to Strikers' rescue as FY looked to press their advantage; not once, but twice. Like the Seige at Monte Casino - okay, that might be overegging it somewhat - the boys took the punches and rode with the blows [Faber Book Of Sporting Clichés 4th ed. 1999] and took a very creditable second half display with honours even.


Forest Youth remain the team to beat but Strikers made a good account of themselves; these are the teams that a player can learn from. Relaxed passing, patient build up and strong defence and attack.


Oh - and somebody who shouts more than Phil on the touchline ;-)


Final Score: Forest Youth 1 ASC Strikers 0


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The 'B's

After today's defeat, I have been sent damning evidence of skullduggery and downright underhandedness [is that actually a word?] perpetrated by our opponents.

I had thought Forest Youth had achieved their victory with a combination of silky passing, strength and powerful attack but it seems I was wrong.

A secret photographer has sent me these high definition images taken during the game and it provides clear, unequivocal [which I also think means 'clear' so I'm not quite sure why I wrote it] proof that each of their seven goals were achieved using the most dastardly methods ever seen on a British football pitch.

Boys. Parents. Loved ones. Make sure you are sitting down. It's that shocking. I will of course be sending this on to the FA, the High Court and maybe Mrs Snodgrass from the local Neighbourhood Watch who is very interested in this sort of thing.

Goal No.1

Just before he is about to make yet another life saving tackle, Sunny is shown a set of 'Match Attax' cards by the Forest Youth no.9

At the exact same time, Alfie's attention is drawn to a blue car going by on the street opposite

Goal No.2

The Forest Youth no.3 points to a supposed bogey on Bill's nose just as he is about to intercept the goal-bound ball

Goal No.3

Fraser is callously lassoed by the Forest Youth centre forward as he moves in to block the shot. Further investigation finds that the boy with the rope is a dedicated student of Wild West Showman, William Cody aka Buffalo Bill

Aware of his team mate's plight, Sharpy is about to move in when he suddenly hears his name coming from the direction of a nearby evergreen tree

Goal No.4

As the ball ran into Max M's path for an easy clearance, the Forest Youth no.16 jumps in front of him brandishing a 19th century time-piece. He is soon put into a short-lived hypnotic state

Goal No.5

Joe G. is thrown by the introduction to the game of a clockwork mouse. They'd clearly done their homework as it's a little known fact that our diminutive forward is a musophobic; ie he has a morbid fear of mice

Goal No.6

Tom falls foul to the well known trick of 'The Prussian Crisp Bag Explosion'

Goal No.7

And just as he is about to dive for the Forest Youth screamer from outside the box, Joe W. is amazed to find that Galen from the 1970s TV programme 'Planet Of The Apes' has appeared on the touchline

So there you have it, folks. The 'A's Report is to follow; goodness knows what we'll unearth for that one?!

Watch this space . . . .

ASC Strikers vs Fishersgate Flyers: Sunday 30th January 2011

The 'A's

As the sun struggled through the clouds over a blustery Buck Park (with a wind-chill of -16 . . . fact) it would need a sizzling performance to warm up the boys and their loved ones. Roll on summer!

Joe G. [GK], Nathan, Fin, Max B., Callum, Rhys, Ryan and Matt W. made up a squad that were looking good in the warm up. Fishersgate Flyers were big lads and as each of them polished off three 'Shredded Wheat' washed down with a litre of 'Irn Bru' it looked like we might be in for a tough one.

In his yellow and blue strip Nathan resembled a certain Edson Arantes do Nascimento* as he took a speculative shot straight from kick off which forced the first save of the game from the FF keeper and an early corner; fair play to the lad - it was about the only one he did keep out that day. Strikers were on fire from the off and played a high tempo game that FF really struggled to contain. Nathan found himself in front of goal after some marvellous support play from Matt W. and his left foot shot against the keeper rebounded back into his path. He made no mistake this time. Strikers: 1 FF: 0

Rhys (on his right foot!) and Fin decided to join in the fun and were looking good for a second when, totally against the run of play, FF equalised with a great shot from outside the box which poor ol' Joe G. could only push on to the underside of the bar. He did well to get a hand to it, to be honest - a stunning strike. Strikers: 1 FF: 1

However, this shock just seemed to strengthen the boys' resolve. Ryan was having a blinder in midfield as his vision (excuse the pun) and accuracy in passing resembled his namesake; the one who wears the number 11 shirt for the team in the red half of Manchester**

Callum linked up with Max B. and saw the ball go just wide and Joe G. was super courageous in collecting the ball from the feet of the FF attackers on more than one occasion. Rhys was causing his usual problems breaking out of defence and one of the FF Big Lads slightly mistimed a tackle that saw our left footed defensive rock negotiate a somersault Tom Daly would've been proud of. Soon we were up against a corner and a defensive mix up (and that's putting it kindly) saw our opponents take an unexpected lead. Strikers: 1 FF:2

A quick look down the line and it was clear Fin wasn't happy as his tiny head went through a range of colours last seen on the Deep Autumn range of last year's Dulux Paint Chart. Which is just what was needed as his through ball from kick off sent Nathan on his way for an instant equaliser. Strikers: 2 FF:2

Pressure from Callum in midfield and super-calm defence from Matt W. made sure that the boys would end the half on a high and after a mix-up in the FF box Nathan had time to take the ribbon and wrapping paper off the ball and thank every member of the Flyers individually, and in writing, for the gift of a goal just before half time

Half time score - ASC Strikers 3 Fishersgate Flyers 2

More of the same in the second period as Matt W.'s close control and awesome (yes, awesome - like the Grand Canyon) midfield play saw FF quaking in their size eight Slazengers. Relentless pressure with Nathan hitting the bar and Fin running rings around the defence paid off as Callum laid on an inch perfect ball from the right wing straight into the path of Nathan who slotted home his third and ASC's fourth into the bottom right hand corner. Jacka-nacka-nory. Strikers: 4 FF:2

Fin then decided he'd put on a masterclass in close control and first-touch technique, which earned a ripple of applause from some of the parents on the opposite side of the pitch. Cars screeched to a halt out on the Upper Shoreham Road and the lady in the coffee shop actually took less than twenty five minutes to make a skinny latte; just so she could come and have a look at the diminutive prodigy ply his trade.

The ball then broke to Callum who with great vision and technique saw the FF keeper off his line and placed a precision lob into the back of the net. Jurassic Park. Strikers: 5 FF:2

Nathan wanted more and struck a beautiful half volley on to the bar. Soon after, Fin's shot rebounded off the defender to Nathan who struck it just over. It had all become rather enjoyable.

Callum was tenacious in all areas and covered back well as FF had only one break out of defence. As all the team joined in the fun Rhys popped up out of nowhere to go on one of his runs where everybody pitchside is shouting 'PASS!' only for them to applaud heartily as he slots home the winner. Of course, we knew he was going to do that. Strikers: 6 FF:2

A fine display throughout the team with some stupendous passages of play and goals to remember. Well done to all involved - including that bloke who likes to humiliate slightly overweight parents by making them do star-jumps at training on a Saturday.

Final Score: ASC Strikers 6 Fishersgate Flyers 2

*changed his name to Pele in case you didn't know. 'Thank goodness', according to his Mum who was the one that had to call him in for his tea.

**that's Ryan Giggs, ladies. (This joke is copyright of Mr A. Gray, formerly of Sky Sport)

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The 'B's

Fin [GK], Joe W., Alfie, Bill, Tom, Max M., Joe G., Sunny and Matt S. had a bit of a hard act to follow and Fishersgate were obviously out to avenge their colleagues' humiliation in the previous game.

Looking back through the notes of this game there's lots of stuff about Sunny's undoubted skills in the art of the sliding tackle, another momentous run from the enigmatic NLB and a post rattling left foot shot from the same Bill who is fast becoming the Eric Cantona of the ASC 'B's.

Fin was the real hero in goal who seemed happiest when being struck very hard by a wet Mitre Size 4 on various parts of his body. Joe W. attempted a Rene Higuita Scorpion Kick from a corner and Fishersgate gave as good as they got and arguably had the better of the goalmouth action.

In the age old cliche of it being like a game of chess, it was a chance to have a look at individual performances. Matt S. was looking very cool in defence and Alfie tracked back as usual when they needed a hand at the back.

Half time: ASC 0 Fishersgate Flyers 0

Joe W. opened up proceedings with a low shot and Joe G. replicated his namesake's effort soon after. FF had good moments themselves and again Fin was called to the rescue.

A corner from Joe G. was put just over by Alfie and there was good cover from Sunny as FF looked to capitalise on the break. As the game wore on it was Strikers who began to boss it with great pressure from Joe G. and Alfie and Tom remaining tenacious in midfield.

Just as it looked like it was going to wind down to an inevitable draw, FF had one last break and their attacker found himself one-on-one with Fin in the Strikers goal. As he screamed at his defence to 'GET BACK!' (a high pitched noise that made a number of the Buck Park dogs chase their tails and attack passing pushchairs) he realised that it would be ultimately up to him. As the ball left the FF striker's right foot, time went into slo-mo as, just as it was going into the bottom right hand corner of the ASC net, Fin managed to get his foot on it. We all watched, mouths agape, as the ball skimmed off the outer edge of the ASC post. Cor lumme!

Another clean sheet with a lot of positives in the game and a great way to bounce back after the defeat at Hangleton. Well done, lads!

Final Score: ASC Strikers 0 Fishersgate Flyers 0

Hangleton Rangers vs ASC Strikers: Sunday 16th January 2011

The 'A's

The first game of the new year and it was to be a day of mixed fortunes for the Young Guns!

Joe W. [GK], Fin, Max B., Rhys, Ryan, Matt W. Joe G and Callum played into the wind in the first half and despite some good early pressure fell victim to a slight mix-up and gifted Hangleton an early goal. Oh well - onwards and upwards! HR: 1 Strikers: 0

Within minutes it was all square as Max B., Fin and Joe G. exerted great pressure on the opposition's goal. A great save by Joe W. led to a corner which he saved comfortably and, seeing Joe G. on his own up front, the ASC keeper placed a precision drop ball into his path for him to score on the break. Cor. HR: 1 Strikers: 0

Confidence now began to build and despite some good defending from the home side, Strikers conspired to play some great balls through midfield. Another blinding tackle from Rhys released the ball into the path of Max B. who linked up in an equilateral triangle out on the left with Fin and Joe G.; the latter scything the ball into the back of the host's net. Immense. HR: 1 Strikers: 2

The game took a slightly physical turn after this as Callum found himself in a 50:50 on the right wing and Ryan was brought on for Max B. who was thrown into the air by a somewhat speculative tackle from the opposition left back. Hangleton were clearly rattled by the burgeoning progress of the ASC attackers and Fin and Joe G. found themselves victim to even more 'agricultural' methods of defence. Undaunted, they soldiered on and defended fantastically as the clock wound down towards the half time whistle; Matt W. learning from the Old Timer, Rhys in how to keep the ball away from his goal area. Colossal.

Half time - Hangleton Rangers 1 ASC Strikers 2

With the wind behind them it looked like it was going to be a promising second half and that's just what happened. Max and Callum were tenacious out on the wings and Ryan's low drive just skimmed the right hand post. As Joe W. wrapped himself in a silver space blanket in goal, he shivered as his team mates applied all the pressure at the other end of the pitch. Rhys and Max have great first touches in controlling the ball and they took advantage of this essential skill as Hangleton were chasing shadows, trying to get a foot on the ball. 

Fin saw a screamer saved well by the HR keeper and Ryan was having a magnificent game out on the right wing. A small number of breaks from Hangleton were dealt with well by Matt W. at the back. Joe W. finally had something to warm his hands on, saving a decent effort from the HR attack. Fin was different gravy as he showed great skill in and around the Hangleton box and it was inevitable that this pressure would tell. Another Speedy Gonzales run from Max B. put the ball through to Fin who saw the indomitable Joe G. in space, setting him up for a highly deserved hat trick. HR: 1 Strikers: 3

After a final flourish with a lovely set-piece from a corner, the final whistle blew with all the mercy of a bullet putting a sick Hangleton animal out of it's misery.  Back of the net.

Final Score - Hangleton Rangers 1 ASC Strikers 3

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The 'B's

Hangleton had obviously got their teams mixed up today because the team that came out for the second game could've taught their so-called superiors a footballing lesson.

In a unique opportunity to interview the Near Legendary Bill, I asked him if he had any thoughts about the upcoming game. Looking enigmatically into the mid-distance for a second he eventually said 'No.' Zinedine Zidane.

Joe G. [GK], Alfie, Bill, Tom, Sunny, Joe W., Matt S., Max M. and Fraser turned out with a confident feeling after a run of good results.

Hangleton showed real skill and pressure and were soon a goal up after a great shot into the bottom left corner of the ASC net. HR: 1 Strikers: 0

Bill tried in vain to stem the tide with one of his time shifting runs but there were no real attacks from ASC in the opening exchanges and the hosts exerted even more pressure with a shot off the bar. Joe W. looked good out on the right wing and was fouled on a couple of occasions. Of course, as they looked to equalise things opened up and after a slight mix-up at the back, Hangleton found themselves with an easy chance which they converted with aplomb. HR: 2 Strikers: 0

Tom, Sunny and Joe W. applied pressure of their own. Joe W. even resorted to diversionary tactics by leaping, Nureyev-like, for a Sunny corner. (The game was delayed for a couple of minutes while the ball was retrieved from a garden three streets away - blimey, that Sunny can take a corner!)

Joe going up for Sunny's corner. Sort of.

 

It looked much better from Strikers towards the end of the first half as they appeared to be getting the measure of their opponents. Gulp.

Half time - Hangleton Rangers 2 ASC Strikers 0

Fraser and Alfie linked up well on the right wing and things began to look up for our brave warriors. However, the hosts had decided it was their party and no amount of showing off by their guests was going to spoil it. After some great play through midfield, they cemented their victory with another fine shot high into the Strikers net. HR: 3 Strikers: 0

A mark of a good team is attempting to retain some pride in the face of defeat and Fraser put in some great holding play to allow Alfie and Joe W. to push up in search of a consolation. Alfie and Matt S. played a nifty little short corner which broke free to Joe W. who got in a stinging shot, beautifully saved by the HR keeper. Most of the team found themselves in the opposition half now and a break was inevitable and achieved the desired result. HR: 4 Strikers: 0

It could have been so much worse as the ASC goal was now under siege but the boys kept their heads up and prevented a rout in the closing stages. Sunny was immense and with the pressure off, Fraser had the downright temerity to go on a great run through the HR defence.

The boys met a team who were devastating on the break today and who played a great game based on teamwork and speed up front. No shame in losing when you're up against that sort of opponent and there were still enough passages of play that showed real promise for us.

Final Score - Hangleton Rangers 4 ASC Strikers 0