The 'A's
Arguably the best team in our age group, Forest Youth play a style of football that is fast and flowing and looks to make use of every player on the pitch. It was going to be a real challenge for the boys.
Joe G. [GK], Rhys, Matt W, Callum [henceforth known as 'Caldé'], Nathan, Fin and Max B. lined up with a spring in their step on a frankly cold morning; they're tougher than us, that's for sure.
The Forest Youth Coach, or Mr Shouty as we know him marshalled his team well but Strikers were able to soak up the early attacks and hold their own; the midfield looking particularly strong. Nathan saw the opportunity for a foray down the left wing but was cut out by the strong FY defence. Emboldened, Max B. skimmed a shot just wide. Ryan, one of the ASC Players of the Season nutmegged the FY attacker.
This use of the spice favoured in far eastern cuisine seemed to anger our Horsham hosts and they sprang into a fantastic passage of play, sweeping the ball among each other like a big . . . sweepy thing[?] No matter how we defended, with Matt W looking as resolute as ever and Joe G. showing great footwork to bamboozle the FY attack, it was a lovely tap in after crisp passing that saw our orange & white opponents take a deserved lead FY:1 ASC:0
The boys didn't let their heads drop and Fin came close, forcing the FY keeper into a spectacular save. Max B.'s tackling continued to be of the highest order and Caldé's art of the defence-scything through ball continues apace.
Half time Forest Youth: 1 ASC Strikers: 0
Fin, Caldé and Nathan came out all guns blazing with free-kicks gained and shots spinning across the FY goal in an effort to even things up. Matt W. remained a rock at the back.
It wasn't long before FY settled back into their stride; their smooth passing game a joy to watch and to learn from. Despite this, Strikers matched their opponents and kept any goalmouth threat to a minimum. Joe G. came into his own with a fine save from a FY free-kick.
The crossbar was the next thing to come to Strikers' rescue as FY looked to press their advantage; not once, but twice. Like the Seige at Monte Casino - okay, that might be overegging it somewhat - the boys took the punches and rode with the blows [Faber Book Of Sporting Clichés 4th ed. 1999] and took a very creditable second half display with honours even.
Forest Youth remain the team to beat but Strikers made a good account of themselves; these are the teams that a player can learn from. Relaxed passing, patient build up and strong defence and attack.
Oh - and somebody who shouts more than Phil on the touchline ;-)
Final Score: Forest Youth 1 ASC Strikers 0
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The 'B's
After today's defeat, I have been sent damning evidence of skullduggery and downright underhandedness [is that actually a word?] perpetrated by our opponents.
Arguably the best team in our age group, Forest Youth play a style of football that is fast and flowing and looks to make use of every player on the pitch. It was going to be a real challenge for the boys.
Joe G. [GK], Rhys, Matt W, Callum [henceforth known as 'Caldé'], Nathan, Fin and Max B. lined up with a spring in their step on a frankly cold morning; they're tougher than us, that's for sure.
The Forest Youth Coach, or Mr Shouty as we know him marshalled his team well but Strikers were able to soak up the early attacks and hold their own; the midfield looking particularly strong. Nathan saw the opportunity for a foray down the left wing but was cut out by the strong FY defence. Emboldened, Max B. skimmed a shot just wide. Ryan, one of the ASC Players of the Season nutmegged the FY attacker.
 |
| Some nutmeg |
This use of the spice favoured in far eastern cuisine seemed to anger our Horsham hosts and they sprang into a fantastic passage of play, sweeping the ball among each other like a big . . . sweepy thing[?] No matter how we defended, with Matt W looking as resolute as ever and Joe G. showing great footwork to bamboozle the FY attack, it was a lovely tap in after crisp passing that saw our orange & white opponents take a deserved lead FY:1 ASC:0
The boys didn't let their heads drop and Fin came close, forcing the FY keeper into a spectacular save. Max B.'s tackling continued to be of the highest order and Caldé's art of the defence-scything through ball continues apace.
Half time Forest Youth: 1 ASC Strikers: 0
Fin, Caldé and Nathan came out all guns blazing with free-kicks gained and shots spinning across the FY goal in an effort to even things up. Matt W. remained a rock at the back.
 |
| A rock |
The crossbar was the next thing to come to Strikers' rescue as FY looked to press their advantage; not once, but twice. Like the Seige at Monte Casino - okay, that might be overegging it somewhat - the boys took the punches and rode with the blows [Faber Book Of Sporting Clichés 4th ed. 1999] and took a very creditable second half display with honours even.
Forest Youth remain the team to beat but Strikers made a good account of themselves; these are the teams that a player can learn from. Relaxed passing, patient build up and strong defence and attack.
Oh - and somebody who shouts more than Phil on the touchline ;-)
Final Score: Forest Youth 1 ASC Strikers 0
_______________________________________________________________
The 'B's
After today's defeat, I have been sent damning evidence of skullduggery and downright underhandedness [is that actually a word?] perpetrated by our opponents.
I had thought Forest Youth had achieved their victory with a combination of silky passing, strength and powerful attack but it seems I was wrong.
A secret photographer has sent me these high definition images taken during the game and it provides clear, unequivocal [which I also think means 'clear' so I'm not quite sure why I wrote it] proof that each of their seven goals were achieved using the most dastardly methods ever seen on a British football pitch.
Boys. Parents. Loved ones. Make sure you are sitting down. It's that shocking. I will of course be sending this on to the FA, the High Court and maybe Mrs Snodgrass from the local Neighbourhood Watch who is very interested in this sort of thing.
Goal No.1
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| Just before he is about to make yet another life saving tackle, Sunny is shown a set of 'Match Attax' cards by the Forest Youth no.9 |
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| At the exact same time, Alfie's attention is drawn to a blue car going by on the street opposite |
Goal No.2
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| The Forest Youth no.3 points to a supposed bogey on Bill's nose just as he is about to intercept the goal-bound ball |
Goal No.3
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| Fraser is callously lassoed by the Forest Youth centre forward as he moves in to block the shot. Further investigation finds that the boy with the rope is a dedicated student of Wild West Showman, William Cody aka Buffalo Bill |
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| Aware of his team mate's plight, Sharpy is about to move in when he suddenly hears his name coming from the direction of a nearby evergreen tree |
Goal No.4
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| As the ball ran into Max M's path for an easy clearance, the Forest Youth no.16 jumps in front of him brandishing a 19th century time-piece. He is soon put into a short-lived hypnotic state |
Goal No.5
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| Joe G. is thrown by the introduction to the game of a clockwork mouse. They'd clearly done their homework as it's a little known fact that our diminutive forward is a musophobic; ie he has a morbid fear of mice |
Goal No.6
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| Tom falls foul to the well known trick of 'The Prussian Crisp Bag Explosion' |
Goal No.7
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| And just as he is about to dive for the Forest Youth screamer from outside the box, Joe W. is amazed to find that Galen from the 1970s TV programme 'Planet Of The Apes' has appeared on the touchline |
So there you have it, folks. The 'A's Report is to follow; goodness knows what we'll unearth for that one?!
Watch this space . . . .
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